Religious Light Bulb Jokes

Religious Light Bulb Jokes

1. How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one since his/her hands are in the air anyway.

2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the lights will be on. Or… Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and pray the light bulb will decide to change itself.

3. How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
CHANGE???????

4. No. Really, how many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

5. How many neo-evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?
No one knows. They can’t tell the difference between light and darkness.

6. How many Church of Christ does it take to change a light bulb?
Six men. One to authorize the change; two to look up the scriptures to see if it’s something Jesus or Paul would approve of; and three to keep the women in submission, i.e. keeping them from giving advice, instructions, or usurping authority over the men.

7. How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

8. How many Tele-evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. but for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

9. How many fundamentalists or independent Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one because anymore would be compromise and ecumenical standards of light would slip.

10. How many liberals does it take to change a light Bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.

11. How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They always use candles.

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3 Responses to Religious Light Bulb Jokes

  1. maria says:

    you guys are doing a very gd thing keep it up and by d way im maria micallef from ghaxaq malta

  2. Nicholas Jagneaux says:

    Maria,

    Thanks for stopping by and leaving kind words. Please feel free to visit again.

    In my World History class today, I talked about Malta and the role of the Knights of Malta before the Battle of Lepanto.

    May God bless you.

  3. lily says:

    nice jokes. haha
    keep up the good work.

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