Biblical
Headlines
***Hat Tip to Mark Shea (whose blog, Catholic and Enjoying It!, is a must-read. Mark gives a H/T to Christifideles, where he found these headlines.***
Imagine if today’s headline writers at the New York Times, or USA Today were assigned to write headlines for some of the Bible’s most famous stories.
The results might look something like this:
- On Red Sea crossing:
WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed
- On David vs. Goliath:
HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock
- On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:
FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed
- On the birth of Christ:
HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple
- On feeding the 5,000:
PREACHER STEALS CHILD’S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior
- On healing the 10 lepers:
LOCAL DOCTOR’S PRACTICE RUINED
“Faith Healer” Causes Bankruptcy
- On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:
MADMAN’S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer’s Investment Lost
- On raising Lazarus from the dead:
FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Will Reading to be Delayed