Biblical Headlines

Biblical

Headlines

Collage of Headlines taken from http://www.charlesheflin.com

***Hat Tip to Mark Shea (whose blog, Catholic and Enjoying It!, is a must-read.  Mark gives a H/T to Christifideles, where he found these headlines.***

Imagine if today’s headline writers at the New York Times, or USA Today were assigned to write headlines for some of the Bible’s most famous stories.

The results might look something like this:

• On Red Sea crossing:

WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE

Pursuing Environmentalists Killed

• On David vs. Goliath:

HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION

Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock

• On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:

FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY

400 Killed

• On the birth of Christ:

HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS

Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple

• On feeding the 5,000:

PREACHER STEALS CHILD’S LUNCH

Disciples Mystified Over Behavior

• On healing the 10 lepers:

LOCAL DOCTOR’S PRACTICE RUINED

“Faith Healer” Causes Bankruptcy

• On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:

MADMAN’S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE

Local Farmer’s Investment Lost

• On raising Lazarus from the dead:

FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK

Will Reading to be Delayed